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Bachelor - Episode 5 - February 2

Looks like we're in for some major drama!  Let's get to it!

First one-on-one date of the night goes to Carly.  They meet up with a "meditating lady" to get the date started.  Apparently, she is a "love guru".... um, anyone else remember that horrible Mike Myers movie "The Love Guru"?  Is this going to be anything like that?  Well, we see Chris and Carly going through breathing exercises and making "ooommmm" sounds.  We're on the right (or wrong) track.

Then Carly is instructed to blindfold Chris, "explore his body" and feed him some foods.  She also has to smell him.   Ok, I'm sure people may do this stuff when alone, but with another person there... it's weird.  Plus, this love Guru keeps kind of creepily smiling.  I'm sure I would have been laughing.  But to make matters worse... the Guru tells them to undress each other.  Um, awkward much.  Luckily Chris says the same thing... which shows me I'm not crazy.  They both indicate they are uncomfortable stripping each other on a first date.  And then they talk about what has been challenges for them in past relationships.  How novel, talking on a first date.

To end things off, they have to sit close together, and not kiss....this all seems pretty intimate.

Switch over to Kelsey talking about her husband's passing.  She's been a widow for a year and a half.  And she is pretty "a matter of fact" about it.

On to the selections for group date - which indicates Britt will have the one-on-one... she's excited.  On the other side, Kelsey is upset that she's not being make to feel special.

On to the group date!   Woo!  Kelsey talks about how emotional it is to be on a group date.  Did this girl not realize what show she was going on?  They're going river rafting... this guide is intense... he listed like 4 different ways they could die.

Jade fell in the water and says she has a medical condition that causes her to go in to hypothermia.  Yikes.  Chris massages her feet, and hands... and Mackenzie wishes she had used that "strategy", and Kelsey is jealous... and apparently she's "fine".  Wow, these girls are sympathetic.

So, Jordan, who was eliminated in Week 2, magically shows up at the filming location... this isn't staged at all... because everyone would know exactly where they would be filling, and when Chris would be walking through the lobby.  Anyway, Chris says that he would have never given "the Jordan of 2 weeks ago" a second chance.  Yeah, because people can make major life and personality changes in 2 weeks.  And when he brings Jordan out, everyone looks shocked.  I'm sure they're going to be welcoming and happy about this....right?

Unsurprisingly, Kelsey and Ashley "Kardashian" are the most upset.  But Chris says he's opening it up to feedback.  The girls tell Jordan how they feel.  The girls share how upset they are.  Chris seems surprised that he's ending up spending so much time to talk about Jordan.  Kardashian wants everyone to be mean to Jordan...

At the house Carly reveals that Britt hasn't showered in a long time.  Hopefully she did after the mud date.  But anyway, the date card indicates the date will be height related, so Britt is freaking out.

Back at the group date.... Chris sends Jordan home... again.  Then the group date rose goes to Whitney.  And Kardashian starts crying and says she doesn't think Whitney is for Chris and he needs someone who is "super real".  Um, like someone who has identified herself as "like a Kardashian" and "Jasmine from Disney's Alladin"?  Ugh, this girl is the worst.

Chris comes first thing to wake Britt up for their date.  He says Britt looks so amazing in the morning.... but I'm pretty sure it's because she still has her makeup on from last night.

Britt's imagination is running wild, assuming that they're going to jump off a building and she's terrified of heights.... but when she sees it's a hot air balloon, she's so excited.  Um, then I don't buy the "fear of heights" thing.  I am seriously scared of heights, and the hot air balloon would terrify me.

Anyway, the girls at the house are making fun of Britt, while she's alone with Chris looking at their hotel room.

The girls also talk about how Britt indicated she likes being single and doesn't want kids.  And she is telling Chris how much she wants kids... and he gives her a rose and tells her the "date isn't over".  And Britt tells the camera that the date "started in bed, and it's ending in bed".  We end with the dramatic door closing.

After Britt comes back from her date, and spills the details.... it brings out the mega crazy in Kelsey... so she goes storming down to his room, because it's obviously (?) the right time to tell him her husband died.  At least she talks to Chris with much more emotion than he did the other girls.  In her camera session she talks about how "amazing" her story is.  Which then leads to a kiss.  And she talks about how this "had to happen".  She talks about how this is her story... her tragic story, picking up the pieces, and her happy ending.  I'm pretty sure that's the creepiest segment I've ever seen.

Everyone talks about how stressed they are, and Kelsey decides to tell everyone she doesn't feel nervous.  And then Chris shares with the girls that he had an emotional chat with Kelsey, and he gets chocked up about it.  I'm confused, what just happened?  Host Chris asks him just that.

Kelsey doesn't understand what's taking Chris so long to send some girls home.  Then she gives this long impassioned speech that I find hard to understand.

Cocktail party is cancelled, and everyone looks devastated.  Kelsey has switched from confident to not confident.  She's freaking out, so she gets up and heads out - and then we hear crying, I"m not sure what exactly is happening.  A panic attack?  Is there security camera footage?

Next week - more drama.

We close with some drunken Jordan footage.


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